Wednesday, January 31, 2007

cheapest thrills!

I'm pretty reserved and kinda shy i.e before i get comfortable with a situation or a person(s). but everytime i venture out of my comfort zone, i seem to attract some other funny people!what is it?!
i'm thinking maybe i should stop smiling ovyo,maybe stoneface is the way to go. but that wont work considering the way i cheka at everything, especially my own jokes or at random things!
this is sad!my first experience was with another scary kenyan, wah!he told me his wife had locked him out and therefore could he come crash at mine.
even though its kosaing lines!
i was amazed. after that i knew not to give out my number to people who appeared sane. then I meet this other greek dude at work.ala, he seems nice. he's oldish so i'm not even thinking that he has potential to be a stalker type. plus he's pretty flirtatious with everyone and everyone seems to love him. so when he asks for my number, i give it to him, he was meant to give me directions to another restaurant.
oh no, today i receive 3 texts ' i miss you sweet!', 'i want to see you! kiss'etc
ai!what are those!kisha even though he doesnt speak english properly isnt this taking flirtation to far?
a friend of mine told me that hes proabably still flirting...seeing as i suck in the flirting department, im not sure how to read that. but as usual i will be wary!better to be safe.kisha when i see him at work i'll have a kijiti at hand!i need to stop finding myself in these situations.but how do you dodge when someone dodgy asks you for youre number?time to start being blunt...

Friday, January 26, 2007

I was told no!

hmmm, my post title sounds as if I'm talking about romantic drama.
nope.I'm not brave like that, ati asking a jamaa out!Hakuna!
Anywho,I laughed when a friend of mine told me that she has a file for all her rejection letters i.e failed job applications and I remember thinking woiye, aki this friend of mine is special. Litttle did I know I was about to fungua my own personal kituo cha barua za marejects!(i know my kiswahili is dodgy, its genetic)
lo, lo, lo, I have received rejection letters mpaka its funny.
(si I said it was funny)
Got one more today.I'm sure by the time I return home i'll be so hardened to this sting of failure(I hope) that people will think I'm on something ...cocaine, miti shamba things, barbiturates , name it!
oh, did I tell you the way I'm now a statistic...and by that I dont mean that I'm pregnant!kichwa yako iko wapi! I'm just another kenyan doing menial jobs in a foreign country. I've washed dishes until my hands have turned a lighter shade of brown. wooo!enyewe you should see me working those pots. mpaka another greek dude kept winking at me!I almost labeled him 'stalker#2' but he's actually a nice dude. but I'm going off topic, back to story's of rejection. Today I'm happy. I thank God for school, it keeps me busy and gives me other stuff to focus on. other stuff to 'worry' about. 'It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect' Pslms 18:32. Nuff said. time for me to go and daydream in my bed, our landlord gave us new mattresses.

Monday, January 22, 2007

u-pepo mbaya!

how does one induce flatulence?
I'm sorry if the question seems rude.
I'm also sorry that bowel movements have featured quite prominently on my blog this last month.but I ate some cheese and its made me all bloated.
alas! the one time that i unashamedley want to inflict grief on the world with my beefs...they won't the way, no matter what anyone tells you, mine smell like roses, I don't know why yours don't and for those of you who know me, eh,....I hope my rep remains intact. but i'm just trying to be real.
being real is this months motto.
anyway, c'est la vie!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

I watched it. Didn't expect much.
However(said like my std.5 GHC teacher)...
APOCAPLYPTO!(te-de-deng) was wonderous!.... in an understated kinda way.
Simple story. Nicely put.
The brits sitting infront of me must have really wondered if 'oooowi' roughly translated into 'hes dodged another one', cause no matter how hard I tried to shikilia... I just had to sypmathise with that jaguar paw chap.
aah, twas a nice movie. I really want to find a forest to run around in now!If you see a random chic zippin past you in the street...yep, thats me!don't mess just make way!
hmm, tangent- you know exercise nowadays is boring!Imagine how much more fun it would be if our lives depended on it(if you think deeply, you'll see the pun was intended) i.e if our survival depended on our fitness; how fast we could dodge arrows or catch some random wild animals for food...we would be fit!very buff!
so let me rephrase my day you will see some random wild animals hurtling past you.In their wake,will be ms.nyarshady, jumping over mtaro's ,swinging off things, dodging other things, her gaze fixed determinately on their retreating backs and bums . Following her will be flint sky the meanest savage of all savages, heathen kabisa!looks even meaner then those chaps in apocalypto.
We'll all be running towards a forest...maybe karura, if its still exists by the time I return home, and in that forest we'll all live happily ever after,chasing each other, chewing mad adrenalin.... and generally living a very exciting life.'

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I don't think we give kids enough credit.I think they're just amazing!
Today I heard a childs definition of the climate chnage agenda....

'its when we've got holes and we've got no more space to put them in'...
she's bright!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

that gets my vote!

you know what!?if I could, I would vote toilets the most intimate place on this earth i.e apart from the womb!
surely you must agree with me pwana!
i think, i daydream , i do a whole lot of praying, scheming , strategising, even crying once in a while, i hide, i sing,,oh! sijui gastric cleansing and good books just go! lakini kweli, the toilet is the joint!im sure if we didnt have to sit, you know, we would even dance in there!
ama do these things only happen to me...haya!if they do forget i worte this i said forget i wrote this post!so why are you still reading?!ha!if you are then i guess we're kinda into the same things yurr!
on that note, i know im not yet ready to get married. dont know what i'd say if my husi wanted to come in when i'm , eh, preoccupied.oh goodness!t'would be too much!but then again are people ever ready for these things?

look what I found!
would you feel right using tissue paper with anyones face on it?!weird!theyre selling this ti-ssue for like $9.aish!youd really have to hate him to spend that money on karatasi ya choo!

Friday, January 12, 2007


God is good!thought I had set my alarm for around 6ish. i needed to be fully alert at that time so that i could read for an exam that i hadn't really been able to prepare for. so at some point in the night, im turning over,(roll, roll) and in my subconscious,i'm contemplating checking the time. you know just to see how many more hours i had till six, you know so that i enjoy them vizuri!wah! twas time!isn't God good!if i hadnt woken up...things would have been even thicker!
then most importantly!i am contemplating career change!this for my information, is just more evidence of his goodness!ive been severely confused the last couple of months! was at a crossroads where the signs were pointing in funny directions e.g 'nende southwest kuliaside'. ok, thats me doting. but on a more serious note, things weren't discernible. so today i gathered a few epiphanies! (ha!knowing me ebu i chill to see if its an epiphany for real) but God is good, now time for hard work and more faith!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Random thoughts for d day!

-I went and bought myself a pick.Now i'm wondering what motivated me. if i'm having problems plaing guitar with my fingers, how much more do i think i''ll do with a random gadget in the way. anyway , this just reminds me of another song we used to sing in assembly,' Caaaarage braaatha do not stumbol, though thy path...' we sang it badly!
-there was a man on the bus, probably mid-fifties, dressed all normal.What made him interesting is that he had tied a very interesting scarf around his head. one of those scarves my granny would wear. He had tied it exactly the same way too!i chekad! twas interesting to look at. the world is very interesting!I wonder what he was thinking when he decided to put it on...people must bethinking the same thing when they look at my nywele..i look like ive put on a hat!
haya, since I'm on the topic of grandmothers. do you know that the older you get , the less likely you're given name will be used . This is interesting!by the time youre like 60 half of the population you interact will be calling you odd nicknames , mama, baba, cucu, babu...etc. So ebu dont blame me when I write mama X, on my nursing home application form.

-I'm struggling with the phrase 'you have potential' , i think it would be nice if people held up blaring sign posts pointing you towards it.potential!pa!
-i think i should do a mini study on this next random thought- if you're planning to come to the UK , look for a place with fewer nyeudhis. Expectations will be lower and you'll be more likely to get the job of your (lesser)dreams. only downside is that you might be fired for singing random freedom songs in the foyer protesting over some mighty glass ceilings!
-the house I live in, moans and groans as if its in labour...or constipated!thats african imagery for you.

Monday, January 08, 2007

of career aspirations...

Today I'm seriously contemplating becoming a house help. It just seems like a simpler route to take, in terms of a career. Why? Given aaaaall my experience, why would I fall short?! I believe I've been involved in domestics since I popped! It didn’t matter whether I was creating the mess or cleaning the mess…I was involved!
Not that I minded so much. We used to be given mapennies when we did housework. Not that that continued and anyway, what are you going to do with 20cents nowadays.
It's funny the way tasks would be meted out and the way they moved from easy to hard… ‘Mami, get me some water/my slippers/ look for my spectacles’…to….. ‘what are you cooking today, oh no! The dogs have messed up the veranda again (pointed look), washing clothes…’.
Heh! It was funny! My mum started us on socks after the housi nearly quit over the state of our socks a. after we bonded with the hockey pitch and b. on rainy days. That means that throughout the year,whatever the season, our socks could not be salvaged.

Anywho,So you see my Cv could detail all types of domestic experience. In terms of skills and competencies, men, even those I could jaza bila shida…
-diplomacy and negotiation- whose going to get the last piece of kuku..
-manipulation- I’m going to get the last chapo!
-discipline-hehe, cause you were disciplined!
...and many other skills that got you out of being chapwad e.g. tears ,
-perseverance-when the tears and excuses didn’t work.
-attention to detail -that kitchen had to be cleaned to very high standards, especially after we’d had like a thou guests.
-diligence -when you and you’re bro are told to tafuta kijiti's for each other!

Ya, so I think I would make a good house help. Plus with a university education don’t you think I could market myself as the next big thing in the domestic industry. Don’t you think this would be a good platform to exhibit my strategic planning, resources management …etc
Sigh, write now those career waters seem incredibly murky! I don’t get it! Why is attainment so elusive! It’s really hard! Never has defining purpose and then sticking to it seemed so mystical. Its a challenge, and in the end , I think it’s just faith that will get me there. God has to see me through.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

'Report says Britain's rat population is growing at an alarming rate.'
I'm really trying to learn how to like this country yet such headlines give me cheap thrills!
i couldn't help but think 'kula hiyo!'
not good.i must up my effort. i can't help but wonder if i'll always feel this sense of 'seperatedness'!its sad!