is it all useless?

i wanted to write a post, but didnt at the same time! sijui paradox!clearly....
Last week was busy, which in my books, is usually a good thing. I can't remember what i did on monday,oh, i wrote my first...eh, article(or something). Tuesday I had free lunch at some random meeting that was not a complete waste of time because I got free lunch.
Wednesday I realised that I'm overcoming some of my hurdles. I'm beginning to form relationships with peeps here, and for me thats been a big thing. Still got a long way to go.
Thursday, I fought in the snow for a better part of the day, actually wacked a few lecturers!pap!.. I changed my socks three times that day.I've never done that before. Then went for a birthday party, all you can eat chinese, I ate too much and met a guy who has good lingala moves.Obviously with my stomach being that full they're was no way I was going to be showing him anything.Ive also never been that cold before, i shivered all the way into friday.
Friday, friends slept over. at about 4am, I checked my email and thats where joy got threatened.
My grandad died on friday. his birthday was on saturday . I'm the one who more or less broke the news to my mum.I don't know. I knew him, but then again,not at all. so I wasnt even sure what I should have felt.I am sad but I think I grieved because my mother was grieving ,because my aunties and uncles were.

Babu(thats what we call him) worked all his life. Throughout.
It was funny cause even after he retired , he refused to stop. it obviously infuriated my grandma, when he insisted on ironing everything in the house.on other days, he would just walk, i couldnt believe it! from pangani to westlands to langata to....yup. and this when he was in his 70's.
'work work, work' that was his mantra. no meeting would go by when he wouldnt chuck those vibes. other memories include the kibokos he would keep around the digz,he was tall and the only one who could reach them at the time. but heh, he could chapa us!
gladly, I escaped the punishments because I was one of those clueless kids. lakini my cuzo's,hehe, it was funny!
I wish I knew him better, so that...I dont know, I could grieve him more?
I pray that my loving others will not be based on my knowledge of them. he was a good man, he worked for his family and he was dearly loved. God thank you for his life.
Lord I don't know if some of these things will ever make sense though.