Monday, April 24, 2006

life can be one BIG mshuto

farty har har! thats a pirate chekaing in the loo....hehehe, give me a moment i cheka kidogo! anyway, how come chic's have more haya ,when its comes to releasing gases, than guys do?! I remember in std. 6 guys used to fyatua onetime onetime and depending on the potency or rhythm of this fart, they would be smiled down upon, by the other boyfolk, like they had just received three medals of honour! wacha a chic unleashed...wololo! For your info: if guys mshutos don't smell like rose petals what makes you think that chics' will! si we eat the same food! But anyway, these stereotypes can really stress men! all this holding back does things to a girls system! it's like shikiliang has become and art form! but no matter how much we would like it to be otherwise, a rebellious mshuto always escapes… pop!...pop!pop! We’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t. You fart....things are a gonna get real bad! you don’t fart....first there's that pressure that builds up in you're abdominals....then there's the ka-bloaty type of pain ...then there's the bum clenching, and then when the spasm passes, you have to make coughing sounds to cover up the rumbling of you're stomach.tihihi! When it chucks...mayo! It will me marasmus! that theng’ will heff ...if not, you produce a rendition of the national anthem ( u jua the way it anzas with the drums.......ehe!) maybe I’m taking the feminist argument one step further :) but what someone advised me to do was.......achilia kabisa! aki pole if i've embarrassed you jama’s out there! and pole if you’re chics are now launching mini-missiles!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

a walk down...the lane!

so i'm walking!
i'm starting to feel kidogo warm.
this weather confuses me!
i spot a solitary goose.
hah! what happens if it attacks me!....
a young kenyan woman was today mauled by a bird with issues....
then i spot a tree...oh wow!it was like a slice of japan, 'plop!'had landed smack dab in the middle of campus...i wanted to hug that and its fine cherry blossoms!

tangent :

doesnt this squirell look happy!

Anyway, Its been an interesting few days! Somehow I’ve been able to catch quite a few movies without spending mob cash !yei!so in the last week or so I’ve watched inside man, the phantoms opera, a bit of ladder 49, miss congeniality 2, she’s the man, princess diaries , Mansfield park, and now i'm off to watch usual suspects and sleepers! heh, talk about a mix!
I need to lay off the girly movies ,cause those things ! the serious ones like Mansfield park, can give you a mad complex!other ones like shes the man….are just bila impact!Hence, im toughening up with a good dose of the Mafioso type-esque movies (usual suspects et al.) and now im in the process of reading the constant gardener( seeing as I haven't watched the movie) As usual I’m considerably thrilled to let my mind wander! i think my imagination is too active !after spending time with movies or books its just ripe! ripe with ...adventure!Sedatives were made for such a time as this!
Now, on the regular, I’m pretty oblivious as to the activities that may be occurring in the corridors of the higher echelons of the political elite (ai,that sentence i'm doubting its gramatically correct) you know; the cunning, the extended ruses ,dark affiliations , mental sewers, amoral deportments, the mind games, manipulations, deceit, espionage and the general evil ambience of most political landscapes. I could call it naiveté but at the same time I’m aware that for me, ignorance is high bliss! So here I am reading constant gardener and thinking/daydreaming polite!
I think of the Armenians, and then think of the shady deals that must be going down in the NGO underworld! and then out pops mama shady (teren teren)! the noble heroine,with the long flowing locks!(that’s the cue for the Baywatch hair flicking-over-shoulder move) now, i'm kinda like the female version of antonio banderas in desperado(I like guitar men!) ready to fight and restore peace and justice! To fight for her people, whatever the cost!
The sequel to constant Gardener is born!

Anywho, A part of me wonders, ‘heh, Kenya is tech! Imagine we even have drama of spies and what not’, then another part of me is like, ‘this cant be for real’, then another part of me(I seem to have many parts) just feels sad for clueless Kenyans such as myself !

Qsn: Is there some reality to the way Mr. le Carré depicts Kenya?

Everything is not as simple as it may seem is what I’ve realized. But I wonder, what next for a simple Kenyan such as myself? What next for the rest of the populace who has no hint of the present/past machinations that are at play? Those things boiling just under the surface? How do we get out of this rut?sometimes it feels like we’re so stuck!
And then I thought of India and its slow rise from the doldrums. the heightened investment in some of its cities etc. and I asked myself, how does kenya get to that point How do we bring investment?(if that’s a good thing)how do we create jobs?or on the other hand, someone mentioned the other day that what Kenya should do is close off its borders , in all ways, and reinvent itself!forget foreign ties or investment, cut off our dependency and all other chords that hold us to the west. we tell them 'yawa,ebu hora!' But if this is the solution , would our leaders even embrace it?
Heh, God help us.
oh! may God be with the families of the MP's who passed away in that terrible crash!life can be quite short!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Who do you say I am?

walalala!today is warm!yani its mambos of resisting the urge to tear off my layers and frolick!
and then the air is clear!crystal!i tell you, its quality!
so I was reading this book, and I realized that yani, this chap mr. bernieres ,though kidogo crass and crude , is vere vere funny!ai!yani when I finished somaing the book I spent a better part of the day tryin to get words like ‘cojones’ out of my mind and I’m not even sure if that’s a real word! !now that twasn’t funny!
Anywho, when I read this section , I was just like, this guy must have visited Kenya, cause we have some random people who really bond with such rhetoric! I was told that there was a dude who used to be in maseno who could vibe kinda like this and then there other ones like P. Lumumba and co.! Hmmm, I do wonder sometimes what peeps will say at my wedding…oops I mean at my funeral! but I guess what matters most is what God will say when I check into my eternal home, what I’ll answer when he asks me that question.who do you say I am?
woi, I wonder if there’s any leader in Kenya who would be given an emotive speech such as the one below.
Setting: a biiiiiiiiiigggggg crowd. Some dude has faked his death and so they are having his funeral!
‘citizens and soldiery of Valledupar! A most dolorous duty causes us to congregate in the plaza before the image of our nation’s most exalted hero , Simon Bolivar! In this coffin before us , opened too early, lie the mortal remains of our unfortunate and beloved governor, whose existence although it has been cut untimely short, passed with meteoric luminosity, leaving an illustrious and translucent after-glow in its wake. Even as the varied and beautiful lines of the spectrum through a converging lens are transformed into a scintillating ray of white light, resplendent, so the details which in his work he compiled, united and synthesized , emerged afterwards from his lofty brain in the beautiful productions of public peace and harmony whose merit is sufficient to place his sarcophagus in the temple of immortality”
If the disassociation of the matter which constitutes the shell of the human body carries not with it the destruction of personality; if an immortal spirit survives, transmigrating or ascending in infinite and glorious spirals to the affectionate bosom of the omnipotent creator, then his cruel and gratuitous expiration in the conflagration of a subversive explosion is not death and obliteration, but a transformation, a mere change form one existence to another! The chrysalis, it is true, has broken its carapace, and the glorious butterfly-the resplendent psychic entity-has flown to happier regions, to merge itself into the prime cause of our being. His noble and refined spirit, spreading like the undulations of the oceanic waves , hovers like the humming –birds he loved, amidst the engrossing and perfumed orisons of the choirs of the hierarchies of the celestial inhabitants of the heavenly regions
Citizens and soldiery of Valledupar! Let us bid farewell to the excellent General Carlo Maria Fuerte ! Let us pray that we shall carry always before the lachrymose eyes of our saddened and subdued souls the perfect image of his magnificent example let or tears not wash away the memory of this immaculate and conscientious public servant!
Louis de Berniéres-the war of don emmanuel’s nether parts!