Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I'm A Woman

That word eh...
I need to vent just a little bit

Its probably no wonder that I came across the quote I mentioned in my previous post. God was trying to keep me focused.

But people keep asking me why I don't wear enough makeup;I remember with fondness the days when Vaseline on the lips was enough of a fashion statement. Other ones ask me whether I've lost weight,If I'm planning on losing weight,whether I'm on weight watchers?What about the number of times I've been told I look mature, which I usually take as a compliment until the question dawns on me, aged mature or deep mature, sijui?I'm wondering when my friends started looking like they we're on their way to a photo shoot all the time, infact some have gone all the way and even gone for the photoshoot!;wondering why that guy who was behind me in school gives a weekly commentary on the do's and don'ts of accessorizing and says that if I'm a proper woman I ought to have more bags than he does!That women around me seem to know where that shade of eyeshadow should go , while I'm struggling to guide the eyepencil around and not into my eye(ouch); that all these people seem to have resources that I don't know about cause I cant figure out how you can save and still pay for makeup, accessories,, music,books, bills .....maaaaaeeeeen!

Its giving me a complex, this pressure to conform!

Maybe I'm just not creative...but that would be a blow my ego would not willing to take right now.

So I'm strong. I refuse to care!
But the things is I do...just a little, tiny, ok maybe closer to medium, bit.

Sometimes, especially in this society, it feels like theres a grumpy judge standing over me with a small kijiti ready to rap me over the knuckles for committing my weekly fashion faux pas. Its hard being a grown up woman in this century, especially if you don't fit into the mould that society so willingly proffers. I don't feel like I do and I'm only 22. So now what?!

I fully understand that women have to make an effort and I've got nothing against looking good.They say that our generation might be the best looking yet...hahaha.
Anyway, in a way it bugs me that I've spent valuable time and space typing up a post that is basically about looks . It makes me feel so vain (Hanging head in shame, blush creeping up neck)but its just that the reason behind why we should bother, seems to escape me from time to time, especially in the face of blasts of wind, temperatures of 6 degrees and the fact that good clothes cost nothing below £10 (and sometimes thats the cost of a vest).
Theres more to life than how we look and I can only be me, but the pressure is still there, gnawing away into the hidden bits at the back of my brain.

I'm a womaaaan...W.O.M.A.N tralalalala


mwari said...

Usijali, we're beautiful just the way we are. You and I! No, I can't stand sticky muddy stuff on my face. For what/who?

We're ok the way we are. And I am way over 22

31337t said...

Fashion slaves, wachana nao, must you conform? And then you go and do an entire post on the subject. My take on clothing is such that if it fits, is not too badly worn (imechakaa) then its perfect for covering my nakedness.

mama shady said...

@mwari& 31337t: we are okay the way we are. The pressure just got a bit much this week.of course we must not conform. I was just frustrated. Its not just about the clothes, but people are quite obsessed with looks, making an impressions and meeting worldly expectations nowadays

tumwijuke said...

Thank you for visiting my page. I'll be back here soon.

Prousette said...

I don't do make up either. AT ALL.
Because I do not know how to and do not care to learn.

As for fashion it has to fit and be comfy. I must admit though that the pressure can be too much!

Mwangi said...

My personal opinion is that makeup and African women rarely go together, a lot of the time (not always though I really can't think of an exception right now) it cheapens them.
As far as I can tell, unless male-female dynamics experience another huge revolution, you will have to battle the whole fashion thing for the rest of your life so choose your path and make piece with it, I say. Then from then on, let the haters hate and the lovers love.

mama shady said...

@prou:lol, I think I'd like to learn, I have a thing for applying colour on things...mostly on paper. But yeah, like you, its not an issue. And most def, we must be comfortable.
@Mwangi:woi,I dont think it cheapens them. But sometimes I feel like it hides peoples natural beauty and kinda takes out the joy of our diversity. But Its not just about fashion.. 'Image' coupled with expectations is something we'll all battle with from time to time. I have chosen my path, it just that like i said, the pressure gets to me sometimes.