Sunday, January 06, 2008

I hope..

'humpty dumpty sat on the wall , humpty dumpty had a great fall'

Sigh... I'm not going to bother dissecting the rhyme. What I'm wondering is why it jumped into my mind when I decided to let myself think of the events of last week.I understate when I say it was not the best of weeks for some.
Its interesting though, the way some of us remain chronically hopeful. Am I one such woman?I'd like to believe that I am,although the range of emotions I experienced last week might say different. Given the realities of this life we need infusions of hope to face whatever tedium comes our way,right?

heh, being far from home is hard. Last week I wanted to be home.

Obviously some people may have thought I was a tad irrational. Ati going home when danger literally hung in the air? Others may have thought I was a melodramatic little thrill seeker, you know getting done with my mid life crisis at 22. Whatever it was ,guess what, I still wanted to be home.Being away , apart from the usual bouts of homesickness around this season(which I will not admit to suffering to;) just didn't feel right.
It felt like I was living in some parallel universe....or three. In one, people were being killed and... you know the rest of the sad story.In another people were ok as long as they stayed home or hung out in the right places .Then there was me ,far far away going ice skating for the first time and trying to read up on inane topics like globalization.
Sometimes I didn't know whether to cry or be calm or if I was being alarmist,whether I was feeling enough grief or perhaps too much, was I praying enough,worried enough or too much ....it was just hard figuring what God wanted me to think let alone do. I felt numbish and thought that being home, may have put things in perspective just a bit. Maybe I'm wrong.

The words of the national anthem struck me more than ever today and so, yeah, I remain hopeful,tentative as it may seem. We'll get through this, by the grace of God. As for the scars,I pray we'll all play our part in helping them heal.

Many blessings this new year to you!

Oh, I must write about that ice skating event...twas one for the books!I became mildly 'aerodynamic' for the first time in my life and if that wasnt enough I couldn't keep my mouth shut as I went down; I refer here to those niggling Kenyan expressions of ours (woi, oowi, ai ai, ach...etc an exclamation mark behind every one) . Too funny!
I think my body has reached a new level of hard-oreness though, woop, woop! even though it meant I couldn't stretch for like four days...I guess thats what falling 17 times does to you huh.

5 comments:

egm said...

Happy New Year!

Like you, I went through a bit of what you write about, but at a reduced level. I was in Lamu when the violence broke out, and it felt weird being at a place that was so tranquil you'd have been forgiven for thinking you were in a different country. Yet less than a few hours drive away in Mombasa violence was raging. You really don't appreciate what you have until you miss it. I hope this has taught Kenyans the value of peace in our lives.

As for skating, eh, you are a brave one. I vowed never ever! I like my feet on solid stable ground, not on wheels or blades or what have you! Unless said blades are part of a snow-mobile and wheels are part of a bicycle or car or train...

Aegeus said...

Happy new year!

Skating ni lazima, being extremely aerodynamic hainitishi hata! Soon, and i am just hoping no one **and i am not naming names like EGM** shall be taking photos, millisecond by millisecond of the ensuing drama as i catapult to the cold hard ice!

mama shady said...

@egm:im rezlly hoping that this has taught kenyan's many things; peace, how to love people who we think have less, humility, that God is!...man, the list can go on and on. but yeah,I've never been to lamu, sigh, sounds hot and peaceful, I hope I'll get there sometime.
@aegeus:woo, look at you all brave and that!hope you'll feel the same when your'e face or rear is charging towards the ground. But having said that you'll love it!;)

Prousette said...

lol @mildly aerodynamic.

Happy New year mama shady. I hoped, am still hope and will keep hoping. At times hope is all you have left.

mama shady said...

@prou:It does seem that way, but today a song kept going over and over in my mind basically it asks 'whats that you have in your hand..take the little that you have and use it' and God takes care of the rest. Happy new month to you too!