dunia ya wiki hii.

news and television can be fascinating.today i found out that a british woman voluntarily(VOUNTARILY!?) made a trip on her own(SOLO!?) to the north pole(or was it the south?)
AI?! sometimes i dont understand people; all that money, all that energy, the risk of death...how has that act benefited anyone, perhaps, apart from her record breaking self?what would you tell youre child if he/she came up to you to tell you...

'ma, i do d'clare that i'm going to the north pole t'day,uhuh! with a par a skis and some suppliz. we gotsta be fandin out what the ambience is lak aout therre!'
anyway, more on news-Saadam is being executed!im a bit torn. this seems like some dodgy business. that aside, i wonder whose trembling in their boots/ngomas/sandak at the thought of once tyrannical rulers becoming fallible.
-i found this cartoon funny;attach the name of whichever country you please

aaah!today is a good day!i made 12 chapos! and none was dodgy...i.e apart form the shape...aki God is good!its been a long road to this point!woo!im actually overwhelmed!you might be wondering why?im not interested very much in cakes and chocolate and all the other stuff that guys think chics like, my weakness is chapos!and since i was left to my own defenses, i realized that heh!i had to learn, where in theuk was i going to pata chapos of maana...whenever, where ever!...
aaah
now to make them round kabisa!

Life can be quite the adventure!

"Jean Jaque was dead.
my father tried to wipe the glee off his face..but unfortunately ended up looking intensely constipated. the wiry solicitor, believeing this to be a show of a manly grief handed my father the letter and hastily made his exit.
his curiosity tweaked, my father slowly lifted the flap....
it was a letter from Mr.J!

'my dear...ummm... servant,
I do conclude that if you are reading this ..then i must be dead.did my wife kill me?
anyway,in return for your years of service i bequith you my prized possessions.my life's joy. note that i speak in plural my dear boy.

yours

Jaque'

P/s they are enroute to yours by ship and should arrive in a few weeks.

fast forward. a few weeks later......
my fathers gaze fell upon three and a half insidious looking mammals. forever the optimist, he walked towards them, slowly crouching to look the sorriest one in the eye (the half goat) it was a deep, intense look.all of life and its mysteries seemed to be in that one look! this appraisal was interuupted though , by something flapping about to his left...a note!it was attached to one of the goats collars.
with shaking hands, my father unfurled the peice of smelly paper, his heart now moving from his boots to somewhere around his diaphragm...

'i present to you mandy, boo, jethro and o.b....
yours
Jaque'

a sob escaped my fathers lips. then a smirk. then a full bellied roar of a laugh. wiping tears from his eyes he walked slowly back into his domain, his small hut.
and it is with these three and a half very malnourished goats that my father made his millions making Goat cheese in the heart of southern nyanza."

ITS MERRY CHRISTMAS DAY!yep!
im throwing a bash! a huge one!but its card only!and all my imaginary friends had the grace to come...sniff..and each of them with a present and a big hug!awww, the beauty of friendship...
anyway, their appearance inspired me to write something. hence my first short story of no maana. hope you all have a blessed day, God be with you!

it said...

......i was left all alone
'my heart was breaking'
thought was on my own
'soul was aching'
tears covered me
'weeping through the whole night'
and i need some relief
'joy comes in the morning'
i've been searching for
'many years now'
the keys to life's door
'i need to know how'
brought to my knees
'saviour can you help me'
and was led to believe
'a failure i was to be'

His love showed me love said not so
even with the odds against me
love showed me love said not so
keep on holding on
love showed me love said not so.....

Bebe and Cece Winans-Love said not so

Genius!

do we need the money!?

oowi!
i read this article, but its not what it said that made me go oowi!but the comments it generated.so,do super powers and their ilk really have any obligation to us? i know there are sijui how many arguments, be it from slave trade to arms trade and to them being the prime suspects in causing the climatic changes that are upon us!
talk about weather thats beginning to PMS.
however...(said like the primo GHC teacher) we are as much to blame, dont you think? especially if we want to boast about how africans are not stupid! infact ebu i mis-apply a metaphor....it takes two to tango! or three or four or whatever....talk about an interesting tango!but politics on the macro scale attests to the complexity of that tango! haya, i was going off on a tangent.anywho, these comments are the ones that made me want to say...'wacha!'

comment 1!
(this chic i believe must be smoking terere or something!ati arm the women!)
'One thing has become very clear ... the money must go the women who use it constructively and do not squander it as we know the men have done. To rebuild communities the women need to be well armed, and militia trained in order to ward off the destructive men. They will only be rid of these dreadfully destructive wars when they finally get rid of patriarchy, it's killing them all with its greed, its 'need' for instant gratification, and its violence.
Arm the women not just with pots and pans, but with guns and strategies for any defence they may need to maintain their authority. With these determined women in charge all the communities will begin the thrive. ...'


ya pili!
'"As usual, Africans are dying because the greedy bastards in The City or Wall Street or Paris won't think twice about funding private armies to grab African resources."
Africans are dying because other Africans make a conscious choice to do so. I feel no guilt about Africa, and feel no compunction to give my hard earned money to African charity. the only soution to the problems of Africa are for the Africans to work out their own solutions. We cannot solve them with charity, or armed intervention. '

ya tatu!-i chekad
'One of the most effective immediate ways of controlling the killing and hideous forms of rape (vs. date rape) in Darfur, would be for whites to take their tents and set up camp there. ...'

ya nne"-ati erase tribal lines!yep just like that!
'I have to laugh on several articles here you guysare flogging the US/UK for being involved in Iraq then call for US/UK intervention here. Personnally I say let us erase all these false borders that were drawn up during the colonial times and let the local folks decide what state/tribe they live in. In the past tribal affiliations had no bearing as to how the lines were drawn and now you have tribal warfare rading across all these so called borders. I don't think this would stop the fighting it would just make it easier for all involved to identify who is fighting who and which tribe to support or not support.'

wattagwan!

there be plenty a jamaicans in d area dat im livin in nah!it makin me feel like i be part a dem.but d fact dat i gat no dread and me talk african nah...it disqualify me plenty!
anyway, moving on swiftly to some random things ive been thinking about...
-theres a mini territorial war going on in my digz. mostly sprouting from the fact that from misunderstanding stems miscommunication, stems misappropriation and other sillinesses. ai!one of my roomates just fills me with amazement, sometimes this amazement makes me feel like throwing something out the window, but its amazement nonetheless.some of these things, in the vast scheme of life ,would seem very petty. but i tell you,when you find youre mkate always being stuffed into mouldy cupboards or dusty joints in the kitchen...among other things!heh!you do wonder. ive caught dysentry once! i dont need to be catching random mutations of britto diseases! we've already had one meeting!i dont like confrontation...sigh. and the thing is she is a nice person.
-i was being told there was a tornado in london...what would i do if a tornado fikad here considering im like 2hours away from london!aki you should me chuking mortal kombat moves with my faithful umbrella every time upepo blasts me.
-now how often should miro hair be washed?pong notwithstanding.
-Moab! in the book of Jeremiah (around ch.48)God punishes these peeps because of their haughtiness, their pride, because of their trust, not in him, but in their deeds and riches.they have a good thing going but alas, they mess it up!and i cant say why, but this made me want to pray forKenya. i thought about the so called 'african pride' and realized that is has facets of good and evil. majorty have discarded the good.i thought about yuppiedom and the way in which it embraces artifice.i thought about the materialism thats overtaking much of kenya. When kids are taught directly and indirectly that success is defined by what they have which seems rational considering the prevailing socio-political-economic climate. but how many people teach their kids, neices,nephews how to love, give, serve or do it themselves?its not that much of a wonder then why many africans are still stuck in a never-ending rut!
then i thought about the way things can get thick!!!and im sure youve heard this cliche lakini be sure of it that moab wasnt the first and its not gonna be the last!
and i part with thesewords....it only be God who can be helpin us nah!cha!(sound effects) we all neeed t' be gettin our focus right and nat be messing about wit d wrong tings man!money aint gona get ya noo-where!and neither are dese wordly tings nah!bless!one luv!
-

wakarao gani hawa?!

now!
you!
yes you!
how are you?
ive never asked that question on a blog before...but it is good to ask dont you think?
anyway!i really wanted to write a shairi about what im about to describe, but clearly acing my KCPE swa exams ...eh did not equip me for such a task!which is sad, because after all those beatings...sniff!we were really beaten! the implement of choice was a rod called something black. i was lucky to have escaped it only to be handwad by the math TA and a black board ruler that had no name!
however, the pont is after those beatings,i should be rendering sweet shairis with the best of them. but alas!
moving on swiflty, i was walking towards the bus stop. it had been a long day and the whole concept of days becoming shorter and colder and darker earlier...had wearied my soul.
so there i am walking, walking, daydreaming, walking, and then i look up and lo!ehe!this was a ghafula bin vu moment (for those of you who aced swa like me)
i had found myself in a mini-cop scene!wow!how exciting!
please note:if i was back home i would have kept myself at a safe distance where i could either run or jump into a jav or shop or something ,if anything were to go wrong. but i just kept walking! the whole idea of drama i believe, tugs at some primitve thing in every kenyans heart.
but im not reckless.i knew i was more or less safe cause there were just 3 cops. and here the way ive seen it, theres some sort of hierarchy of alarm when dealing with cops.

• theres the cops who walk around, usually with a walki talki, bright reflector vests and maybe a flashlight...or 2. havent seen any of them with rungus though. these are the regulars. i generally feel nothing for these ones.
• then theres the cops on the piki-pikis, i hardly see them but if i did, i would probabaly be a bit more careful!
• and then therees the big guns!the ones with the cars. there the ones who piga kelele all over the city zooming from one neighbourood to the other.aki someitmes i wonder if they really do jobo.lakini considering the way gangs can be silly here...

so i get to the bus stop and my interst is piqued. these 3 cops are talking to a man on the ground who is calmly eating a sandwich and this man is generally paying them no heed.he's friend however,is busy verbally decorating the atmosphere with various expletives directed at the cop(s). now i try and get close enough to hear whats going on. but i cant hear!
aaah!
and another problem with the folk here is that people think themselves too polite to be curious! the joy of being kenyan is that youll always get the storo!or some version of it!
this didnt look like it was about to happen.
so the whole vibe ended there. bila flair!i was quite dissapointed!they just picked up the guy, who was still eating his sandwich and whisked him away.
imagine how entertaining(human rights issues aside) 3 kenyan cops/watchmen would have been!
sigh.at that moment the entire population of the city i lived in seemed irredeemably dull!

sense of self?

".....the world sets in to making us what the world would like us to be , and because we have to survive after all , we try to make ourselves into something that we hope the world will like better than it apparently did the selves we originally were. That is the story of all our lives,needless to say, and in the process of living out that story, the original, shimmering self gets buried so deep that most of us hardly end up living out of it at all. instead we live out all our other selves which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the worlds weather"
Frederick Buechner-Telling Secrets

hmmm

nation branding

an article in the guardian reminded me of a discussion i had last week where i literally wanted to to beat sense into someones head.its funny the way there are so many people here who are ignorant of the notion of nation branding and the effect it has on perceptions and ultimately action.

muziki

theres heaps of debate on the ingenuity of kenyan music and the state of the industry thereof.
ive come across different opinions e.g

• the kenyan music industry is trying too hard to ape industries in other parts of the world without considering the market in which they want to sell their music
• kenya has much talent but quality control ,in terms of good production, good training , good equipment , good service etc is lacking
• the kenyan music scene is filled with cliques!now in most cases you need these cliques to establish yourselffirmly, however, (said like those teachers in primo) these cliques seem mildly impenetrable. catch 22!
• kenyans need to spend more time perfecting and learning more about their art.theres a lot of authentic stuff out there , be it DO misiani , katitu boys or some random orutu player jamming o the sidewalk.we have loads of traditional stuff to draw from .but we ignore it. kenyans are becoming culturally emaciated.
• anyone can love music but few are willing to work at it or develop as artists.
• kapuka this kapuka nini!what kind of music is that.bila substance.
• musicians in kenya need to learn how to take it one step at a time. thers no way we'll become the best over night.it takes much investment that most musicians are not willing to undertake.

and so on and so forth!yurr!theres much to be said. i love music. really . so ebu stop pirating kenyan music! even when you think its wack but you just like that one song on the album. dont hate aimlessly but support! support! support! support the artisits around you. dont criticise out of a vacuum!you may have no idea what youre talking about or what it takes .criticise constructively .

AND dont forget youre culture!HEH! people forget the richness that our cultures add to life. and im not giving you a license to be uncouth! take the good aspects of youre culture and roll with them. and usisahau God comes first. sometimes i cant imagine what music in heaven will be like. hes the ultimate composer. knows where a harmony will touch your soul mpaka you only be able to say wahlalalala!

a beautiful mind!

someone told me once, that when some people fly out...they never come back the same!
this was in reference to someone who was not completely legit in the head after he returned home.and he hadnt done drugs or any other nasties!
so i worried, worried that my rosy plans/dreams for the future would be tarnished by an unsound mind.

so...im walking down the corridor and some dude in front of me keeps on sneaking glances.
the story is in the glance.
im a lone black female, dressed somewhat ethnicly, seeemingly going into all the corridors that this caucasian fellow is entering.
note to you dear reader: we lie at opposite ends of the BMI index. plus yani, since i hail from the mother continent,yurr! i must have some sort of killer instincts or survival tactics....or whatever!
so yani im sure its not something that i have to break down to you ,dear einsteins, but i think he thought i was following him!
imagine!me!
but i say!i was not!
we just happened to be going in the same direction.
i plead the fifth amendment!(haya, in kenya we would plead what....ebu think about it)

so we're at like glance number five....(this is where i begin questioning the health of my mental apparatus)....
at glance number five the following goes through my mind....

'tada...tada....tada,tada,tadatadatadatada......ching ching ching!
tededeng!......
muhaahaha,!
yep, im following you bloke!
tada...tada..tadatadatadatadatada!'

should i be sad about these eh, mental activities?
woi, for real, maybe being abroad, especially in the states, the uk, europe...maybe it does do something to the kichwa.

oooh!

i like this feeling!
if i could...(well i can, its just that i dont feel like learning how now!it would spoil the feeling) i would play some for y'all!yes sireeee i would!
im dancing!ehe!at mid-night!instead of doing work that im meant to be doing...walalala!
listening to some masekela, sipho gumede, allou april...some rhumba nostalgia as well etc.heh, its nice......

ITS AMAZING!

ive been challenged. challenged so deeply, but yet inspired.
life is short. pitifully and sometimes painfully so and this has been greatly emphasised lately for me.
i feel like yelling GO FOR IT!lakini i must first expplain from which well these sentiments of mine are being drawn from.

there are those who take risks...and those who dont...ahem,cough like me.there are those who remain committed to their vision, committed to a cause.....and stick with it. and we have examples all around us. people who decided they would stick it out and raise you until you were out of them nappies and ready to try and address the world and all its issues!not considering that you might have been an investment that would make zero returns!there are others who said they wanted to see the youth empowered, ebu imagine the reach that starehe boys has now!..and so on
we are all alive lakini to be kidogo cliche, how many of us are passionate about living!what drives us?who are we working for?who do we serve?
note:life without God is useless, but anyway,

theres a company started by some young guys i know. they're trying to make a difference with all they can, in what was at first termed very unconventional means. but with God anything is possible!everything is possible!

chek out the site:www.bikes-kaishakenya.com
for all y'all responsible,level headed drivers out there who are tired of traffic jams!werokamu!

VUC AT THE PARK!

hmmm?!

you know, its very good that blogs are now the 'in' thing!cause now i can pose questions and siri's that disturb my head and hope for a somewhat resonable answer from, eh,people
will someone please explain to me ;
whats it with this neo-soul spoken word business?!i mean i like most of the music that falls into that genre however dont you think there are a number of things about that whole culture that leans towards(to use a a pals phrase) being extremely pseudo!i repeat P.S.E.U.D.O!
and then a number of kenyans have decided to embrace this movement.....?????????? i repeat
??????
its like the only poetry that the youth now know will have to be liberally littered with references and phrases such us hips, goddesses, soul, spirit, as i walked on by, (sumthing )in my eye and...the list goes on!
aish!

KENYA! KENYAA! KEEEENNNNYAAAAA!NCHI YETU!

Theres ana rap by arrested development that anzas...ahem
"i went home to africa..."
(or something like that)
nimefika jo!
im saying that as if i landed jusi! well....erm.... ive actually been here for like a month and lo! its been real!its been good!...its been adventure!...its been many things! WAH! i have this vivid catalogue of moments in my mind that i cant even start to detail!from mad adrenalin rushes after javing, then ive anzad ironing my clothes because i became kidogo paranoid!some insect with issues might have layed eggs in my clothes! and...i dont know if any of you guys have watched another horror from the 1980s called the black widow spider!men doom would have only given that dudu motishas!
then theres the wars that i must fight every time i want to catch a jav! aish! then theres the comedy thats called our ministers...they aim to furahisha!sijui service!
needles to say, its good being home!the UK pales in comparison...kabissa!au sio?!
oh, i havent blogged for like 3 months....well,ooops

life can be one BIG mshuto

farty har har! thats a pirate chekaing in the loo....hehehe, give me a moment i cheka kidogo! anyway, how come chic's have more haya ,when its comes to releasing gases, than guys do?! I remember in std. 6 guys used to fyatua onetime onetime and depending on the potency or rhythm of this fart, they would be smiled down upon, by the other boyfolk, like they had just received three medals of honour! wacha a chic unleashed...wololo! For your info: if guys mshutos don't smell like rose petals what makes you think that chics' will! si we eat the same food! But anyway, these stereotypes can really stress men! all this holding back does things to a girls system! it's like shikiliang has become and art form! but no matter how much we would like it to be otherwise, a rebellious mshuto always escapes… pop!...pop!pop! We’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t. You fart....things are a gonna get real bad! you don’t fart....first there's that pressure that builds up in you're abdominals....then there's the ka-bloaty type of pain ...then there's the bum clenching, and then when the spasm passes, you have to make coughing sounds to cover up the rumbling of you're stomach.tihihi! When it chucks...mayo! It will me marasmus! that theng’ will heff ...if not, you produce a rendition of the national anthem ( u jua the way it anzas with the drums.......ehe!) maybe I’m taking the feminist argument one step further :) but what someone advised me to do was.......achilia kabisa! aki pole if i've embarrassed you jama’s out there! and pole if you’re chics are now launching mini-missiles!

a walk down...the lane!

so i'm walking!
i'm starting to feel kidogo warm.
this weather confuses me!
i spot a solitary goose.
hah! what happens if it attacks me!....
a young kenyan woman was today mauled by a bird with issues....
then i spot a tree...oh wow!it was like a slice of japan, 'plop!'had landed smack dab in the middle of campus...i wanted to hug that tree...it and its fine cherry blossoms!

tangent :

doesnt this squirell look happy!










Anyway, Its been an interesting few days! Somehow I’ve been able to catch quite a few movies without spending mob cash !yei!so in the last week or so I’ve watched inside man, the phantoms opera, a bit of ladder 49, miss congeniality 2, she’s the man, princess diaries , Mansfield park, and now i'm off to watch usual suspects and sleepers! heh, talk about a mix!
I need to lay off the girly movies ,cause those things ! the serious ones like Mansfield park, can give you a mad complex!other ones like shes the man….are just bila impact!Hence, im toughening up with a good dose of the Mafioso type-esque movies (usual suspects et al.) and now im in the process of reading the constant gardener( seeing as I haven't watched the movie) As usual I’m considerably thrilled to let my mind wander! i think my imagination is too active !after spending time with movies or books its just ripe! ripe with ...adventure!Sedatives were made for such a time as this!
Now, on the regular, I’m pretty oblivious as to the activities that may be occurring in the corridors of the higher echelons of the political elite (ai,that sentence i'm doubting its gramatically correct) you know; the cunning, the extended ruses ,dark affiliations , mental sewers, amoral deportments, the mind games, manipulations, deceit, espionage and the general evil ambience of most political landscapes. I could call it naiveté but at the same time I’m aware that for me, ignorance is high bliss! So here I am reading constant gardener and thinking/daydreaming polite!
I think of the Armenians, and then think of the shady deals that must be going down in the NGO underworld! and then out pops mama shady (teren teren)! the noble heroine,with the long flowing locks!(that’s the cue for the Baywatch hair flicking-over-shoulder move) now, i'm kinda like the female version of antonio banderas in desperado(I like guitar men!) ready to fight and restore peace and justice! To fight for her people, whatever the cost!
The sequel to constant Gardener is born!

Anywho, A part of me wonders, ‘heh, Kenya is tech! Imagine we even have drama of spies and what not’, then another part of me is like, ‘this cant be for real’, then another part of me(I seem to have many parts) just feels sad for clueless Kenyans such as myself !

Qsn: Is there some reality to the way Mr. le Carré depicts Kenya?

Everything is not as simple as it may seem is what I’ve realized. But I wonder, what next for a simple Kenyan such as myself? What next for the rest of the populace who has no hint of the present/past machinations that are at play? Those things boiling just under the surface? How do we get out of this rut?sometimes it feels like we’re so stuck!
And then I thought of India and its slow rise from the doldrums. the heightened investment in some of its cities etc. and I asked myself, how does kenya get to that point How do we bring investment?(if that’s a good thing)how do we create jobs?or on the other hand, someone mentioned the other day that what Kenya should do is close off its borders , in all ways, and reinvent itself!forget foreign ties or investment, cut off our dependency and all other chords that hold us to the west. we tell them 'yawa,ebu hora!' But if this is the solution , would our leaders even embrace it?
Heh, God help us.
oh! may God be with the families of the MP's who passed away in that terrible crash!life can be quite short!