Yesterday was one of those days that took on this weird, diaphanous quality.
Don't know why. Then again my imagination has the uncanny ability of coming up with the ridiculous. I've noticed it in my occasional love affair with daydreams and the many moments I've found myself battling with wishful thinking .To top it off I'm a closet romantic .Sigh. So it is safe to assume that given the routine humdrum of life that when words like diaphanous appear in my vocabulary, it will take me all of a few seconds to run with it.
Although , I did pause. Pause before I let my mind go, which in a way allows me to give myself a hefty pat on the back. I'm getting better at this whole self-regulation business!See over the last few months and years , as some of my favourite notions of adulthood have been errrm, reworked , I've realised the value of thought , running right alongside the value of hope. How you think, what you think, why you think...about different things.None of that self-help juju but something more along the lines affirming the dictum 'as a man thinketh , so he is'. And so I try to tweaze out the dreams that are inappropriate, the ones that are way too indulgent,too selfish , the others that down right leap ahead of Gods plans for me ; juggling and sifting through,vivid imagination or not, no matter how sweet the day dreams may be....
So today I figured that theres no time like the present when it comes to making snap decisions about careers in showbiz, even if they're firmly fixed in the realms of my imagination. I decided to don Spielberg's hat trying to figure out how my boring day could be juiced up by playing it out in video format. I've actually once considered wearing a disguise, doing a skit and putting the video up on youtube.But then my pal refused to join in and I wasn't planning on making an embarrassing debut, solo, so the idea was benched.Maybe I'm glad that she did refuse, but you never know, I'm still considering putting it on my list, along with skydiving and renovating a house and...
The video would be low budget. Not the trashy kind of low budget, but the grainy yet authentic kind.Loads of sunshine and a soundtrack reflective of the 'cool' in me , you know, shades of blue and orange and reds and purples and lemons.The type of music that makes you feel like you can have a good cry , tears of joy and sorrow that would wash the world clean (Thats me trying to be poetic). There I'd be, sitting on a bus on my way home, the sun a blazing orb at the horizon while I compose lyrics to my new song,aptly named 'Wema wa kutosha'.
Gawsh, I'm liking where this is going, mmmmmm
and it would have to have flashbacks!Reels of scenes from my day
The young guy on his phone.Cheery, sounding a little bit like he was trying too hard.It must have been a girl on the other end. I wasn't eavesdropping. He was loud. The hoards of mentally ill people roaming the streets of Birmingham.Maybe a few shots of myself (from my most photogenic of angles) waking up (actually scratch that ) , diggin into my fruit salad and subsequently cringing as I took my first bite .The fruits were soooo cold! Me contemplating life, school,the beast known as facebook which has produced interesting pathological behaviour in some individuals of late.My affinity for disposing light bulbs exposed .In case you were wondering , these have been blowing up at a rate of one every eh few weeks for the last month or so. The position of power points in the house just make you feel like shouting 'what!' and 'why!' and 'where!'.
So I keep tripping over my lamp...and buying light bulbs. Sijui.
But maybe I'd skip all that , go straight to the end; day would roll into night and I'd be extremely glad that God gives us second chances. With heavy lids and a heart that sometimes struggles to believe and look forward to new mornings and new mercies, I'd wonder and dream about what comes next, for me, for my country , for my relationships.....and I'd fall asleep, my tummy full of chapo's, a warm breeze lulling me to sleep, a small candle of hope flickering in its wake....